The golf season is upon us so each month #GCWMag will give you one-liner ammo to humour/annoy your playing partners!

Lesson #1 - Types of Shots

‘A Lance Armstrong’ - Lost a couple balls then started cheating

‘An Oscar Pistorius’ - A blind shot

‘A Holly Willoughby’ - A bit fat, but otherwise perfect

‘A Paula Radcliffe’ - Ugly, but a good runner

‘A Best Mate’s Sister’ - Up there but you know you shouldn’t be.

‘A Dennis Wise’ - Nasty little five-footer

‘An Autoglass’ - Good chip recovery

‘An Adolf Hitler’ - Two shots in a bunker

‘An Anna Kournikova’ - Looked good but no result

‘The Condom Shot’ - Safe, but just didn’t feel right

‘The Ryanair’ - Flies well but doesn’t land anywhere near where you want it to

‘The Suarez’ - Needed to bite

‘The OJ Simpson’ - Somehow got away with it

‘The Ladyboy’ - Looks like an easy hole but all is not what it seems

‘A Clark Gable’ - Gone with the wind

‘A Yasser Arafat’ - Ugly and in the sand

‘An Arthur Scargill’ - Great strike, crap result

‘A Cuba’ - Just needed one more revolution

‘A Brazilian’ - Shaved the egde

‘A Gynaecologist’s assistant’ - Just shaves the hole

‘A Dead sheep putt’ - Still ewe

Got more? Let us know with the link below.